We've grown accustomed to this thankless trudging
Fighting wars internally
Strife and conflict the only constant
Dawn breaking as we paw at our faces
Streaking mud and tears and blood

For every battle there must be a victor
Do we even dare believe
That we should be the ones to survive?

Hope is never lost; it is merely forgotten.

This gnawing feeling reminds me how much I've missed out on
Excluded on the way to bigger and better things
When the horizon is just out of reach
And every step removes you further from me

Seems like there's so much to learn from you
With a smile so joyful I almost believed it to be real

And when I ask for something
It's usually undeserved
And comes with all kinds of strings attached

Even though I'd like for you to prove me wrong
I still won't be holding my breath for you

I am sitting in a sparsely furnished room, in a house that does not belong to me, in a country in which I was not born. I realize that we all are a congregation of misers and fools and that freely given advice and the common sense we swear we possess are but the jilted brides of our conscience, twisted and mangled like a car wreck.

I think of my father, without whom I would not be, and without whom I would not be embroiled in unending strife. I am grateful and embarrassed.

I think of my friends; bridges torn asunder and burnt into piles of ash. Brothers and rivals reduced to messages unsent and unanswered.

I think mostly of you, singing like you meant it.

Can you imagine our life as a wedding photo? We'd smile with relief, and with the hope of a future ensconced in our hearts, with the knowledge that it probably won't last embedded in our minds.

Will you be loyal?
Will you be true?
Will you fulfill all the quests
I've set for you?

There was nothing left back there
But there is nothing to look forward to here

I am doom wrapped in skin
I am a curse uttered from a billion lips

It's like I spent six days at the bottom of the ocean
Feeble and incoherent
Wondering where all the good times had gone
Sifted away like sand
Through trembling fingers
Red, raw and stained
From clawing away at it all
Imagining that time and tide would roll
Like a wheel, bringing them back to me

Gratification eludes like a ghost
Flitting in the jungle
Burning trees as it passes

Friendship is a bitch that needs to be put down

I needed a shot of that bitter hatred
A sip from your cup

But it tasted so much better
Than the thought of you

So these dead soldiers line my table
Having fought a war and lost

I'm terrible when I'm happy

Just like me
The confetti never touched her
Though with much less pretense

Would that we could dance with our memories
Flitting through past experiences
Grinding everything to a halt
As we sift through meaningless knick-knacks
In a sea of grain

With eyes as vacant as my chest
And with hope as hollow as these truths

For a moment there I almost blamed myself
Ashamed of myself
The imagined things I almost did
The illusory words I nearly weaved

Then I thought back at the small things
That never really added up
Irksome, peculiar
Nagging and cloying

Particular bad habits that I gladly glossed over
Ignoring them in favour for moments of bliss

I was
Sacrificed
Eking for fantasies I could not fulfill

Karma is a bitch
And it all slung back around
The dark side of the moon
And collided with me

The words are resounding
Rebounding
Echoing so loudly I
Can't stand to even look at you
When you spit lies so easily
Breezily
Whetting your tongue with me

And what am I but a phantom

Peering into your life
Through cramped frames of insight
I have eight by six hundred pixels
To know you

At funerals and wakes

Segregated by class
Distinguished by upbringing
Connected by death
And the little ironies that tag along

More beast than man
Breathing and stalking
Cursed and reviled
Branded as treacherous

There is never any element of intention
God knows, it wouldn't work that way
The most offensive of actions
Are the ones performed unconsciously

I will quit this stage
Or more than likely be cast out
And none will be left wanting
For lack of my presence

She is less of a whore than anyone else denies they are

With her wings singed by the flames
And her heart and eyes stale like sulphur

It's cruelty redefined
That only I can love the most detested

O Highness!

Shall we return to thy Government subsidized fortress
In mine petroleum powered carriage?
I will escort thee to the rising draw-bridge
That shuttles between the battlements
Till we reach the tallest spire
Barred by an aluminum portcullis
Which locks are turned only
By that laser-etched key in thine hand?

Thy noble Sire and fair maiden mother
Await without
Observing their peasant subjects
Through wise Merlin's magic box
That flickers and shudders
Each time an image is summoned
And they skim through the Guide they purchased
To find out what happens this week or next

Thy royal siblings, as we speak
Are squandering their knightly husbands' wealth
On Messrs. Vuitton and Ferragamo
'Tis sweet fortune
That love unconditional
Cleaves well to price-tags

Sleep now, princess!
All thy demons have been slain
No ghost, nor ghoul, nor goblin
Will lay their filthy paws on you
Unless, however
They are well within their means
To purchase you

I do not regret and never will

You failed the only criterion I ever set for you
I was never really upset, merely disappointed
That you had set yourself up so high on the list
Any meagre shift meant a headlong plummet

It's laughable that you couldn't even match up
With expectations as low as mine

There is no standard of loyalty that cannot be breached